This is the first reason I hate Christmas. It’s the first post, not the first most important reason. It’s just one element that can’t be taken in isolation. So here we go:
I’ve been on holiday to Turkey a few times and in particular Olu Deniz, twice (although I’ve been there three times.) It’s a great place to spend a typical pool/sun lounger/bar holiday and it’s not too rowdy at all. If lying around doing bugger all isn’t your bag then there’s lots and lots to do and see. There’s a whole world of culture and history in Turkey and you don’t have to stray too far from the beaten track to find it.
So. On one particular holiday we went on a “Jeep Safari”. When you think Safari I suppose Giraffes and all that African stuff springs to mind. Well this was just a case of some Young Turks1 ferrying 30 or so pastey English people about in Jeeps along the Lycean coast of Southern Turkey. Some of it was rubbish, some of it was fun and some fascinating. We visited a Mosque, we visited a carpet making place and some random water gardens. Anyway, the end of the day trip was to visit a place called Patara2 and its beach. Yeah, I’d never heard of it too.
We stopped off at a local cafe just before arriving at the beach and directly opposite was an old Roman Amphitheatre. Amazing I thought. The tour guide gathered us round and told us we had 30 minutes or so and that we could have a quick drink and then wander round the amphitheatre. He then asked us if we knew the significance of Patara. No-one answered. He went on to tell us that Patara was the birth place of St Nicholas3. Yeah, you know, Father Christmas. Honestly. He was born just up the road from where we were stood. He was a real guy. I looked around and the faces on the fat pastey English tourists was a picture. They were all thinking “What? Father Christmas is some fat red faced guy from Lapland or the North Pole or something!”. Our guide insisted “Yes, really, come on it’s your religion not mine, why don’t you know this?”. Blank faces. So the guide shrugged his shoulders and the tourists waddled off into the cafe.
I went for a walk round the amphitheatre and I was joined by no more than 2 or 3 people. Typical.
So why is this one of the reasons I hate Christmas. Well, what do you think. All those fat English people in their crap bright holiday clothes will be the same ones putting up Christmas Trees and sending Christmas Cards with Santa all over the front. And they haven’t got a fucking clue and they don’t even care. Some young Turkish guy knew more than them and the Turks must think us all pretty stupid. It’s amazing that they want to join the EU!
Whenever I see images of Father Christmas I think of that dusty hot day in Turkey and the faces of those tourists. We use St Nicholas as a modern Christmas icon and the majority of people don’t know shit. Amazing.
I really do hate Christmas.
Dave
- Not the Rod Stewart kind [↩]
- The image at the top of this post was released by Basil and Tracy Brooks under a Creative Commons Licence [↩]
- St Nicholas [↩]
